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Thursday, February 26, 2009

Strange dayz...

I just cannot seem to get going these days. I prefer being alone, and do not want to be bothered at all. I want quiet! My stress level is so off right now. I have no patience with anyone or anything. I hate myself most days because of this. There are so many things I could be doing, but just do not have the 'mental' energy to get up and do anything.

My girls are getting academic awards tonight, and i am still sitting here in my pj's. I need to get up and get in the shower and get ready. Part of me hates going due to the fact I feel like an embarrassment to my kids. They do not make me feel this way, it is all me. I really do not know why I feel like this. I have never cared much what others think of me, yet being in a wheelchair changed that. Being 6' tall I always walked into a room with a purpose, now I want to be invisible. Again, that is so not me.

Rog said if I don't feel well then it is ok if I do not go. The problem is I feel ok, I just do not want to go. But, knowing how bad my girls want me to go, I will. I really hate these feelings as I am a pretty sttrong woman and hate feeling ...wow I cannot even explain how I feel or a word for it. Pathetic maybe!! lmao I hate feeling pathetic.

OI Vay, sometimes life can stink. lmao Yet, I am still glad to be alive!!

Quote: Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain. ~Author Unknown

4 comments:

Silver said...

you know what, Tracy. I like you a lot already cos i feel that i'm just having coffee with a girlfriend i'd known for ages!

No pretense- this is me, love me or not. Whatever.

Following -Girlfriend, smiles!!

that's ok- these feelings will find a way to pass or sort itselves out.

hugs for a new friend!

Tracy said...

silver, ty! You made my day!! Now I am off to get ready!! TY again!
huggzz

Twisted Serenity said...

I've been worried about ya! That w.c. does not define who you are, MzT! Most of anyone who knows you would not even notice the chair when talking to you, you have enough personality to light the room! Big hugs!

Renee said...

You still light up a room ...
and your feelings will even out soon, i understandm believe me so i know there is hope ~ sending you love and hugs !