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Monday, May 4, 2009

Light at the end of the tunnel?

Still looking for it...crawling to it...reaching for it. Is it really there? I always tell my friends when they come to me looking for hope it is there. 99% of the time they come back and tell me they found it. So, where is it for me?

After the MS walk I was sunburned, tired, and felt better than I had in a long time. I had almost ten whole days of feeling good. Guess that is all I am allowed at any given time. For the past 5 days my legs do not want to function, my head feels as if there is a fog inside and when I turn my head it feels like I might pass out. My hands are numb and I am crying at everything.

I should probably just be used to it, this is my MS. This is what happens to me. So deal with it right? hmmmmmmmm not so much. Why should i deal with it, why should i accept it?

My son is sick and my dd is coming down with something. I cannot get them to the doctor so hubby will have to take time off work and do the job i am supposed to do. Driving is not 'good' for me when I am down. So, what to do???

I'll tell you what to do. Go with what my body is telling me and rest. I do not want to let my doctor know as he will have me in the hospital and that is not an option for me. So, I will rest and hope for that light. I will rest and hope for a better day. I will hope the day sometime soon where I can make some new things for my shop. Numb hands and jewelry design do not mix!! lol This is where the depression lies. I cannot be the mom I want to be or create my jewelry.

So, I will keep an eye on the horizon and look for that light...I will find it!
Blessings!

When the world says give up, hope whispers try it one more time!

3 comments:

Twisted Serenity said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Tracy said...

i know u can relate sweetie! one day that light will be there!! xoxo

Renee said...

I relate hunny, and the light will be there one day .... we just have to perservere. I am thinking of you hunny as always .. I love you.